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| Young Mother Sewing - Mary Cassatt |
So here's a new resolution for ya - take time for yourself!
Now this concept of actually setting some time aside each day for yourself may be a bit incomprehensible to some. "Oh wait, I get it... If Little Timmy's soccer practice runs late, then I'll have 7 minutes to myself to nap in the car!"
This "Me" time that mothers need and deserve doesn't have to be long. I'd say 30 minutes a day is manageable. Read a book, take a bubble-bath, take a nap, read a blog if you must, or maybe if you dig it, cook up an amazing dinner. (I've heard that cooking, when you love it, can be super therapeutic. Maybe if I could get past my habit of burning the basic things, like butter in a pan, I would understand this.)
Here's how you cut some of your work load. I know a mother's dream is to be the best at everything, but don't be afraid to ask Little Timmy and Susan to do chores. I've known way too many mothers that do their teenager's laundry, folding it neatly, and even putting it away for their kids. I mean, really? You're nuts. It's very very beneficial for kids to help out with chores. Why?
1. You won't have to be the source of all cleanliness in the home.
2. Your kids will learn to appreciate a clean home.
3. Your kids will learn to respect and appreciate what you do.
4. They learn not to be so carelessly messy, since they will be the ones picking it up.
5. They learn to do basic things that they'll eventually need to know when they move out. Why not give them ample opportunity to practice these skills?
6. By creating a list for them to check off, you are teaching them discipline and accountability.
7. It creates responsible, accountable, appreciative, discipline, neato kiddos.
Of course, designate chores to kids based off age and capabilities.
Please know that my dream would be to live on some sort of small farm, so hear me out on this small piece of insight. Helping the family with the farm is a way of life for the kids that live there. And think how close-knit most farming families are! Something about working together creates this sense of unity in families through teamwork.
Consider how many kids leave the home to go to college without the proper knowledge of how to cook, do laundry, or clean a home. They'll be coming home every two weeks to have their Mommy Dearest do their laundry. And once they live on their own, they'll be at a disadvantage. Help them out by letting them learn, and help yourself by giving your kids the chance to help you and respect what you do.
That also means allowing your kids to help cook once and awhile. And maybe by the time they are teens, they'll be able to cook you dinner! As a first-year college student, I can't even begin to explain how much I wish I would have learned to cook before leaving the nest. I'm thinking this summer will be full of attempting to learn. Wish me luck! Better yet, pray for the health of my family.
Now, if you are one of those workaholics, the task of taking time to yourself may be a little more intimidating. But please realize, work should not define your life. In these times of recession, this is easier said than done. Happiness should not in any way be affected by the amount of money you make. If you go ahead and work your butt off for 10 years and finally find yourself in a stable situation what will you make of it? You just wasted 10 years of your life unhappy, that you will never be able to get back. Now you are 10 years older and the things you could have done may not be possible anymore. And if you have kids? That was 10 years that you were stressed out, probably not giving them as much attention and love as you are able. There are ways to spend less and be happy so that you aren't having to work as obsessively.
Entertainment for the family? Rather than going to a movie or out to eat, cook dinner as a family, play a board game, watch a movie at home, put on music and dance around the living room.
Groceries? There are so many websites that teach you how to spend your money wisely to get the most bang for your buck at the stores. There are many coupon websites as well. And ones that have multiple inexpensive and relatively easy recipes. (I say relatively because, like I mentioned before, I am not a chef.)
Clothes? Kids grow fast. So don't spend a fortune on clothes that they'll outgrow so quickly. I remember as a kid I was so concerned that I wasn't wearing brand name clothing like some of the other girls. I look back now, and realize that brand names are so unnecessary. It's not the brand name on the clothes you wear, its the fit of the clothes you wear that matters. If it looks good on you, don't worry about where it's from. Take advantage of big sales days and stores like Target, Ross, Tj Maxx. Second hand stores too. It'll give your kid the opportunity to create their own style, while learning that it's not necessary to spend a lot of money to be cute. Plus, shopping at thrift stores is more acceptable these days. And the clothes they grow out of? Wash them really well, throw out the stained and ripped, and sell them to consignment shops, eBay, etc. You won't make as much money as you spent, but you're sure to make something.
Basically, to sum up a rather long and wordy post, make sure to take time for yourself. You deserve it. While you may try to do everything to make your family happy, realize that your happiness affects their happiness. So when you are stressed out, they feel it. Do what makes you happy - happiness, family, and love are what make life worth it. And life it too short to spend it unhappy, stressed out, and overwhelmed.
